:: Mengata Dulang Paku Serpih…::
February 23rd, 2006 by yan-cheekye{And when you recite the Qur’an, We place between you and those who do not believe in the Hereafter a hidden barrier; And We have placed coverings on their hearts and a heaviness in their ears lest they understand it, and when you mention your Lord alone in the Qur’an they turn their backs in aversion. We know best what they listen to when they listen to you, and when they take counsel secretly, when the unjust say: You follow only a man deprived of reason.}( Al-Israa’ 17:45–47)
The above verses reflect circumstances that Prophet Muhammad faced in his lifetime and although he is no longer with us, 14 centuries later, we as Muslims face the same problem today on behalf of Islam from some non-Muslims and some Muslims today. If someone does not want to know the truth of a situation, there is nothing that you can do to change that state of denial; what is unacceptable has become acceptable.
The trouble is, as you have demonstrated, that it does not make it acceptable, because no one can feel that their honor is safe amongst gossipers and backbiters. This way of socializing backs one into a corner whereby one may feel that one has either one of two options, to join in or to opt out. To join in means that one becomes like the others knowing that one too can never be safe from this kind of talk.
Yet, one proceeds because one wants to belong, compromising one’s principles, dignity, and self-respect. This is probably how it all began for the people around you who have this problem. They opted for this empty talk that can ruin lives, increasingly behaving superficially about most things; but they are never really at ease and resent anyone who makes them feel uneasy.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "The gravest sin is going to lengths in talking unjustly against a Muslim’s honor, and it is a major sin to abuse twice for abusing once." (Abu Dawud 41:4859)
The seal upon their hearts and ears means that they are in fact confined within their own perception of reality until they are ready to break out of that reality or an external factor shakes them out of their state of "sleep." If you opt out, but yet, you are still physically present, your silence in certain areas can make them feel even more uncomfortable and they will force you to join in one way or another.
{O you who believe! If an evildoer comes to you with a report, look carefully into it, lest you harm a people in ignorance, then be sorry for what you have done.} (Al-Hujurat 49:6)
{O you who believe! Let not (one) people laugh at (another) people perchance they may be better than they. … and do not find fault with your own people nor call one another by nicknames; evil is a bad name after faith, and whoever does not turn, these it is that are the unjust.} (Al-Hujurat 49:11)
Yet for every situation there is always a third option: It is never do or die. This is dependent on how comfortable you are with yourself, meaning how much it bothers you that you are not like the others in certain respects.
We are:
· To be firm and not lose heart
· To sow affection between hearts
· To protect each other
· To be with those who are true in their word
When you hear someone say something of which you doubt the validity or intent, you should know that they cannot help themselves. It is up to you to decide the most appropriate response. You can —
1. Be kind to them, because kindness can open many doors.
2. Question what is being said without dishonoring the speaker. For example, "Do you really think so? There could be other reasons for …" (mention a reason or two).
3. Remain silent about what causes offense, accepting their level and participating or introduce something better into the discussion. Do dhikr to take away your focus on the problem at hand.
`Ali ibn Abi Talib gave the following advice:
· Close relatives need love, but love does not need relatives.
· Be generous with your wealth to your friend, and with your support by your presence as proofs of your friendship, and with your enthusiasm and affection towards everyone in general, and with your justice and fairness to your enemy, but keep your life transaction (religion) to yourself and do not mention it to anyone.
· Do not long to be with one who is indifferent to you.
Fi amani-llah.
Bear this is mind…when you talk about someone else, whether that someone is a close friend, a neighbour, the guy/gal who sits behind you in class etc, behind their back, it’s most likely that there are people talking about you behind Your back. Mulut manusia tak dapat nak dikatup, hati manusia tak dapat nak diduga. (Try watching Mean Girls, u’ll see…)
